who are you?

Sometimes

I look at myself

And I wonder

What can you even do

I-

I'm so lost

Where am I

Suddenly, there are people around me

And I stand still

Idk what to do

I-

I'm so lost

I'm- I'm so sorry

I...

I...

I...

I can't hear my own words anymore

They become musty

They become faded

I become muted

No, I'm still talking, but my words are drowned out by my fears

Why am I so scared

I walk into a garden

A pretty flower

I squat down and I stare

It starts to rain

I feel...

I feel...

Uneasy...

My chest is tight

A lump in my throat

My tears are stuck

No, my tears are flowing

Flowing so consistently

But its drowned out by the rain

What am I scared of?

I wanna be that flower too

But how many seasons of rain must I go through to become that flower?

She reached out her hand

She held a peppermint

I looked at it

She asked me to take it

I did

And I ate it

And she screamed

I was hurt

I ran away. I ran away. I ran away

I kept running

I opened my hand

The candy was still there

I turned around

She was still there

I ran towards her

She wasn't there

I screamed

The candy was in my mouth

I couldn't swallow it

I coughed

I spitted out blood

She screamed

I looked up

Blood dripped from her mouth and hands

No...No....No...

She collapsed

She didn't respond

She had eaten the peppermint instead of me

She died instead of me

But yet, I was still afraid to die

Intoxicated

I'm on the cold floor

Staring at the spinning fan and white ceiling

Round and round and round and round

My vision is blurry and my head is pounding

My heart is racing and my hands are twitching

I think I'm intoxicated

I feel the breeze from the window

The curtains are dancing

I smell perfume

It smells floral

I hear music vibrating through the walls

It's from the next room and it's muffled

I drift into sleep

But I seem to be awake all night

whenskiescry